Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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