I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
