girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
