i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
