why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
