Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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