One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
