weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
