Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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