So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
