My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
