Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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