I just made out with a guy for $7.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
