trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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