Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
