According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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