This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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