I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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