Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
