If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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