I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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