You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
