WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
