Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
