the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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