Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
