I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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