is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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