just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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