Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
