omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
