idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
