I'm eating all of the evidence.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
