she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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