I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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