what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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