So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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