if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
