some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
