My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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