sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
