I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
