i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
