I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You're a waste of cheezeits
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
