Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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