Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have post one night stand depression
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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