What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
