dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
