He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
