meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
