I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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