Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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