the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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