Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
