If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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