he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
