..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
