Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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