And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
