Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
