I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize