I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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