Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
