Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
