I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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