In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
