She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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